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Traditional Marriage Under Fire

Lately there’s been a lot of buzz, mostly criticism, about Meghan Trainor’s new music video for her song “Dear Future Husband.” If you’re not familiar, here it is and the lyrics can be found here.

Caught up? Ok…

Just like in my post about Taylor Swift, I am going to already come forward and say that I’m not a huge Meghan Trainor fan. Honestly, if I could never hear All About That Bass ever again, that day couldn’t come soon enough. It mostly comes down to modern radio overplaying artists moreso than me disliking the artist in general. But that’s an entirely different argument.

From what I’ve gathered since this song and music video has been released, the main criticism that she’s facing are from people with the ideas that she

  • has outdated, traditional views on relationships (via)
  • she’s anti-feminist (via)
  • she’s not meeting modern day gender roles (via)
Here’s my stance on the subject:
We currently live in a society where traditional gender roles, and to be frank when that term is used it’s mostly in reference to women’s roles, are beginning to break down and in a more public way. Yes, for women’s rights there’s still a lot to be done in the way of equality amongst our male counterparts across the board. And yes, this is a fair assessment. 
However, as much as our modern society of women shame men for these gender roles, there’s a fair share of women shaming each other for their values in regards to their relationships, how to raise their families, and what kind of wife they need to be. All because of this concept of what our “new” roles should be.
I am a proud wife of a traditional marriage. In my marriage it is respected and understood by both my husband and I that he is the man and I am the woman and therefore there are certain expectations we have of each other. Now, I’m sure I’ve already begun to ruffle some feathers but stick with me on this…
The biggest difference between traditional in the common form of the term and my use of this term simply comes down to respect. My husband absolutely respects my role in our marriage and family and I his. 
FOR EXAMPLE:
+ I worked hard to earn a masters in education and plan to have a fulfilling teaching career. However, family is extremely important to me and I won’t think twice about becoming a stay at home mother once we begin having kids. This is my choice. My husband would be completely respectful if I chose this path or decided to go right back to work. But it’s my choice.
+ I believe that my husband should be the provider of our family. He works extremely hard at his job and works hard for our family. In comparison to my teaching career he will always make more money  than me and that’s just a simple fact. Teachers aren’t compensated for the level of work they do – it’s not a gender thing.

Maybe I’m not enough of a feminist but I don’t see how shaming women for living out both sides of the argument deserves shaming of any kind. As I understand it, Meghan Trainor wrote this song because it reflects her ideals for what she would like to have in her marriage. I’m of the mindset that if you disagree that’s okay and move on. There’s no reason to criticize her because she happens to be in the spotlight.

Do you have a traditional relationship? No? What’s your thoughts on Meghan Trainor’s video and song “Dear Future Husband.”

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  • i don't think that is an anti-feminism song at all, people just overreact on every single little detail, maybe the video shows a stay home wife but in the lyris she mostly talk about she wants a husband who treates her right. And if some girls thinks that buying groceries is a sin for feminism , then I'm guilty! sorry but i prefer go to the supermarket than let my fiance do it simply because i know he is going to buy sodas and candies and other useless stuff

  • I love your stance on this! Thank you for your honesty in sharing your thoughts. I am definitely a supporter of traditional marriage. I think that it is terribly misunderstood and misrepresented in today's culture. You really nailed it!

  • From what I've heard of the song, it was simply written by a very young woman (although several years older than I was when I got married) who doesn't actually know what marriage means exactly, yet, since she isn't married. We all learn more after we've done it! I err on the side of being traditional, and when we were newly married my husband was the sole provider while i was finishing up my university degree. Now we're both working, and at the same school, making the exact same amount of money. Different seasons will bring us different things.

  • I think that the concept of “treating a girl right” can be different depending on the girl being discussed. I happen to not mind the things she mentioned in her song simply because I don’t find anything wrong with a man holding the door for me or telling me I’m beautiful. Taking a look at the crop of men today is a bit disappointing. Just glad I’m not longer waiting for my prince charming. 🙂

  • Thanks! I know that women today have all different views on this subject and I didn’t want to offend anyone. I suppose you can call it ‘old world’ views but I love our traditional marriage because we both know the parts we play in our relationship. And I agree that it’s something that is terribly misrepresented today.

  • Yes! It takes life experience to truly know what you want from a significant other. Thanks for providing your perspective to this discussion!

  • I completely agree with you, things like holding the door are good manners it's disappointing see many men forgetting about that and even worst see tons of women just don't care about it. Congratulations on finding your prince charming, I'm happily engaged with a men who always open the doors for me 🙂
    Does that make me an anti-feminism girl? haha