This year it is going to mark our fourth wedding anniversary and five years together. Within these last four wedded years we’ve moved across the country, welcomed a baby, and began new jobs. Bringing home a baby was enough to throw our entire dynamic as a couple off and we knew going in that our relationship would change. Now that our little baby is now turning two next month, we’re in a new stage where taking the time to love on each other, even in the smallest of ways, makes a huge different for us as husband and wife.
Since February is a month where discussions of love and relationships are everywhere, let’s have some real talk about how we can love on each other this month – and every month – and remember we’re all more than just parents.
My husband and I’s bond is strong. I know this. But not too long ago did I have an, “oh, damn…” moment where I felt as though my love for him was changing; beginning to look and feel different. I knew it wasn’t that I loved him any less, but it just felt…different. Afterwards I found myself trying to narrow down what it could be; sometimes causing myself to find distance between him and I and thinking as though this uncomfortable feeling wasn’t going to go away. Finally we had a, albeit tough, conversation about our feelings and are making steps towards seeing and meeting each other where we needed it – not forcing one or the other to fit the scope of their understanding.
The point of me sharing this is that in life and in marriage, especially after baby, things and feelings are going to change. Change can be scary because now you are vulnerable to another’s feelings about you, but have hope! It takes courage to talk about it, understanding and patience to listen, and simple actions of kindness, love, and passion to establish a new equilibrium to the relationship.
Today, let’s get real and talk about the easy ways you can love, or be loved, on with your spouse this month!
The 5 Love Languages
Before you even begin I highly recommend you read up on the five love languages so that you can find out what your spouse will appreciate the most! Oftentimes simply saying, “I love you” is enough to make your significant other feel special, but there are other times where acts of service or touch is what’s needed.
I would have to say that I mostly align myself with quality time, for sure, gifts, and words of affirmation. What are your love languages or the languages of your spouse? Starting here will give you a starting place in determining what the love needs your SO has. Here’s a fun little chart to help you get thinking…
Guys/dads are fairly easy to love on because they only require a few simple things – but their love for us runs deep and feeling like it’s reciprocated is very important to them. Here are a few easy ways you can love on your man!
- create a love book which lists all the things you love about them – faults and everything – in a fun comic style book!
- sneak love notes in random places for him to find.
- let him sleep in or otherwise allow him extra time just for himself.
- pick up a chore you notice he always does around the house.
- write a letter to him and leave it where he’d find it before work.
- hike, workout or do something active together.
- snuggle in bed.
- show interest in a hobby he has or allow him time to go out with his friends.
- beer or wine flight tasting
- go-kart racing or batting cage
- vs him in a favorite video game
- make time, sans kids, to spend with each other.
- pray for him.
- purchase a gift that you know he’d love just because.
Typically most wives/moms appreciate the acts of service, quality time, and gifts the most- I know I do. Luckily, if you’re a husband reading this, you can achieve all three love languages in most of the ideas listed below. Just always keep in mind that women are emotional creatures and when one can tap into the sentimental side her love tank will be sure to overflow.
- ‘just because’ flowers
- women love little love notes tucked away in places
- make her lunch
- help out with the kiddos to allow her some ‘me time’
- surprise her with relaxing things like arranging for her to get her nails done, get a massage, or just simply run a bubble bath for her with wine 😉
- arrange a babysitter and plan a date night!
- get old-school and go on a bowling or mini golf date.
- paint and sip nights are also fun outings!
- pray for her.