An Interview With My Husband: Preparing For Baby

Pregnancy is often a time that is, by the majority, discussed mainly amongst women. From symptoms, stretch marks, and what to expect during labor, these conversations tend to happen without a man in the room (or wanting to participate in the discussion – can’t blame them). However, it’s been my experience during our pregnancy that although my husband isn’t jumping at the opportunity to talk about the good, bad, and ugly parts all the time, he does have feelings about the changes heading our way and how baby Greyson will impact our lives from here on out. He has a mind full of expectations of himself, but also plans for how he wants to raise a young boy into a man (his inner-Texan is showing). Being a dad is an important role for any man and this is especially true for Philip, so I thought it would be fun to share his inner thinkings of becoming a first-time dad for this month’s series of An Interview With My Husband: Preparing For Baby.

This series first began a few months back (off and on) where my husband would take over the blog for a day in the form of a series of interviews I would have with him. I have always been intrigued with our conversations over the years and picking his brain, not knowing what he’d say next, was exciting and, many times, thought provoking. Since we have so many of these conversations I thought it would be fun to share some of them with you all here.

I encourage everyone to spark up conversation like these (to help get questions going feel free to look back at our interviews or just Pinterest search them!) with their significant others because you end up learning a lot about how they feel, what they’re thinking, and even things about your relationship you may not have uncovered otherwise. The topics of discussion are endless and not to mention, it’s always a good time, especially over wine 😉

Join me as I interview my husband in our blog series: An Interview With My Husband. Every month I ask him a series of questions in which he takes over the blog for the day to respond. Today it is all about baby and preparing for this little one to arrive - from the prospective of dad.

Kelly: What most excites you about becoming a first-time dad?

Philip: I wish I knew.  I’m overwhelmed, but in a good way. I’m unable to focus on any one thing because my heart is all over the place.  I try to keep a cool head and think logically, but emotionally, I’m bursting.

K: What fears do you have about becoming a first-time dad?

P: I just hope that he is better than I am.  As sad as it sounds (but it really isn’t), I’ve expressed that I’m disappointed with a lot of what I’ve done professionally.  I had great aspirations, but the world beat me down and I lost a lot of years trying to recover.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, but I hope that he doesn’t fall the way I did and lose all that precious time.

K: What were your favorite childhood memories? What makes those moments so memorable?

P: Really it was the little things I remember the most fondly.  Saturday morning cartoons, camping with my family at Garner State Park, chasing the ice cream man down the street during the summer.  It was the simplicity of it all.  Growing up I remember feeling unsure a lot and I felt bullied a bit, but I remember that I was always happiest doing simple things by myself or those I was close with.

K: What are you most looking forward to once Greyson arrives?

P: Teaching him.  I just hope that he will be willing to learn.  I hope that I am patient – I’m really working on that.  I’m ecstatic about having a baby, but (and I hate to say it) I’m really focused on raising a better man than I am.

K: How do you think Greyson will change you? Your outlook on life? Our relationship, etc?

P: He already has.  My priorities have shifted dramatically and life already seems more dangerous than I thought previously although it’s just as beautiful.  I know that he will strengthen our relationship overall, but will occasionally challenge it – my goal is to recognize when it’s happening so that I may respond in a way that let’s you know that you’re my everything.

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Be sure to catch up with Philip and I for our next interview in March!

Linking up with…

Hill Collection

A Little Bit of Everything

Meet At The Barre

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An Interview With My Husband: A New Year

It’s been a long while since I’ve had my lovely husband take over the blog in the form of this little series called An Interview With My Husband. I first started this series a few months back and had such a great time asking my husband all sorts of questions just to pick his brain because he’s always had an interesting, and different, way of looking at the world. So, in essence of the new year and fresh starts, here’s my husband and our interview about 2015 and looking ahead to what’s in store for 2016!

Follow along with my husband and I as I interview him on various topics about life, impending parenthood, and just some random fun stuff. This is An Interview With My Husband!

1. Are you a goal setter or have any resolutions for this upcoming year? If so, what are they for 2016? If not, is there something you’re looking to challenge yourself with this year? A milestone you’re looking to make?

I’ve never been one for resolutions although I’m always a proponent of change.  I just believe that if you feel you want to make a change in your life, just do it.  No timelines, just start working to change yourself.  That being said, I know the challenges of 2016 will present themselves gradually starting with our little rugrat on the way.  He will challenge me and he will be my milestone 🙂  No need to seek more challenges that those that will inevitably find me.

2. What are you most looking forward to in 2016?

Our growing family 🙂  The culmination of my being is about to come to fruition in just a few months and all I’ve ever done previously will cease to matter since he will be my (our) future.

3. How have you evolved over the last year? This could be personally, professionally, etc.

I’d like to say that I have an answer for this.  It’s difficult for me to hone in on my own evolution since I’ve been consistently looking forward, but now that I reflect, it’s all been personal.  I’ve hit that point in my life that I had always heard about, but never thought would happen to me.  I’m coming to terms with my own mortality and have become increasingly fearful of the safety of those around me.  I was untouchable for so many years and now I am the furthest from my mind.  I figure that this happens to all adults, but I’ve never felt like an adult until recently (past 3 years or so).

4. What does New Years mean to you? Is it more than champagne and counting down to midnight?

Truth be told, it doesn’t really mean anything to me.  I’m glad it’s a day that I don’t have to work and it’s perfectly acceptable to drink too much, but I don’t really use the calendar to set my own milestones.  I can certainly appreciate those that do, and you’d be the first to say that I live by the calendar to accomplish my own tasks, but in the span of a lifetime, I don’t really give it much attention.

5. In one word, how would you describe 2015? Why?

Comforting; It was a good year and I can honestly say that nothing negative happened but so many great things did.  It was a comforting year and I hope we can keep it up as life progressively speeds up.

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To find my husband elsewhere on the blog and check out our other Interviews you can find them here:

Interview With My Husband: July

Interview With My Husband: June

The Guys Behind The Blog Linkup

 Linking up with…

Hill Collection

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An Interview With My Husband: July

One thing I’ve really enjoyed is bringing my husband into this little blog of mine in the form of a monthly series called An Interview With My Husband. I really enjoy this series because I am always surprised by his responses and every time his answers make me see that he’s got a lot more going on in that mind of his than he lets on. I especially love how I try to give him boundaries (like, #4!), and yet he runs with it! I also love the enthusiasm he brings to our conversations and every now and then I learn a little more about him. Not to mention his affinity for Bond…
Follow along with my husband and I as I interview him on various topics about life, impending parenthood, and just some random fun stuff. This is An Interview With My Husband!

1. What are the chances you’ve passed up on in your life that you look back on?

……Tricky question.  I’ve taken a lot of chances that panned out and some that didn’t and I don’t have any regrets.  That being said, nothing stands out in my mind.  So, I guess I haven’t dwelled on it – and I think that’s a good thing.

2. What terrifies you the most?

For a long time, I would’ve said nothing because I was arrogant enough to say that I was untouchable.  But my big fears involve losing you and our Murphy dog.  Like I’ve said in the past, once you wear your heart on the outside of your body, you stop worrying about yourself.  My family is the most important thing to me and I would burn cities to the ground if it meant protecting you.

3. What is the most important life lesson you would want to share with our future children?

Nothing ever lasts.  Good or bad, everything in this world has a finite amount of time (this applies to the tangible and intangible).  When it’s good, enjoy it for as long as it lasts.  When it’s bad, press on – one foot in front of the other until you’re through it.  It will be very, very difficult sometimes; you will find yourself broken, maybe even more than once in your life and you may ask how you ended up there.  You will experience dark places and dark thoughts and question humanity and the good in the world and you will wonder if you will ever recover.  You will.  The sun will shine again and you will forget about the darkness, but you will recognize who you’ve become because of it.  You will be stronger, smarter, and better prepared for the next storm that is inevitably heading your way.  This I know because I was able to come out on the other side a better person – and you will too.  Because you are mine.

4. If you could only pick 3 essential values we want our children to embrace above all others what would they be?  

(My first 3 are my essentials, but those that follow are things I find important)

  1. Treat others as you would like to be treated, but never assume that others do the same.
  2. Play to your strengths in public, but work on your weaknesses in private.
  3. Never stop learning – the competition doesn’t.
  4. Time is the only currency that matters and youth is your greatest asset.
  5. Always go for the kiss.  At worst, an awkward moment; at best, who knows?
  6. Never beat yourself up, there are plenty in this world that will do that for you.
  7. Never apologize if you don’t mean it (and don’t let anyone shame you into saying sorry).
  8. Also, never apologize to someone you are giving money to.
  9. Always assume that you know less than you do.  It’s when you start thinking you are smart that you cease to be.
  10. Never speak about money in public.  Whether talking about how much you make or how expensive something is on the menu – both are bad form.
  11. Invest in quality.
  12. Never let someone else dictate what is or is not “important”.  But know that I would never lead you astray.
  13. Never threaten.  Threats are for the weak.  The strong act swiftly without warning.
  14. Always keep your cool.  When you start yelling, people stop listening.
  15. Question everything and everyone.
  16. Never grow up.
  17. Travel.

5. How can I add to your happiness?

You have honestly made me the happiest I’ve ever been.  The only thing I can think of that would make us both happier is babies.

6. To you, what is the difference between living and feeling alive?

Living is just getting by – eating, sleeping, going to work, going home, becoming comfortable.  Being comfortable will kill you quicker than you think. 

Feeling alive is doing things that others are afraid to – taking risks, being adventurous, developing a sense of wonder, always questioning everything, and never accepting anything for face value

7. What is your favorite book? What about that book makes it your favorite? (could be from childhood up until now)

I have a few favorites…

Starship Troopers (fantastic story – and no, it’s not like the movie.  Which is also pretty sweet.), Jurassic Park (first book to really hooked me in when I was in high school), and every Bond book that Ian Fleming wrote (I’ve read them all twice).  But when it comes down to what I really appreciate from a book, it’s when I am left in a daze unable to focus on anything but what I’ve just read.  There are only 2 books that have ever had that effect on me (spoiler alert):

Farewell to Arms (Hemingway) – the last 2 pages of this book are incredibly somber.  The main character lives through atrocities of WWI and has to escape his unit or else face being shot point blank, is branded a deserter and struggles to get back to his love.  She is pregnant with his child and they run away to Switzerland in order to avoid being arrested.  For a number of pages, they live in peaceful bliss through her pregnancy and he acknowledges that the worst of his life is behind him and he may now live a wonderful life as a husband and father.  Unfortunately, both his wife and baby boy die during childbirth.  He visits his wife as she passes, kisses her on the forehead and leaves the hospital to wander nowhere in the rain.  After reading such a powerful ending like that when you aren’t expecting it, it lingers on.  And because it is so difficult, it forced me to reflect on how fragile life can be.  That no matter how hard you fight and struggle and love, sometimes you can’t escape the dreadful.

Moonraker (Fleming) – (Note: the book is nothing like the horrible movie)  James Bond is placed in a position that he is certain is going to kill him and an innocent woman he has been protecting and comes to terms with his death; he holds her close as she is crying and wonders if life could have been different for them.  They do manage to survive (with great injury) and on the final page Bond is contemplating his feelings for her as he waits to meet her in a park.  He imagines being with her and mulls over the things he wants to say to her once he sees her.  He is excited at the prospect of falling in love and allowing someone in after being closed off to everyone for so long.  As she approaches he notices a man waiting for her – A man she hadn’t mentioned before.  Without showing how hurt he is, he bids her farewell, watches her walk away, and turns around to face his own existence alone once again.

I realize that both of these examples are a bit melancholy, but they have always struck me as powerful endings to great stories that I could relate to as I struggled to become a man.

8. The song that makes me think of you is ________. 

I have a few but the first that always comes to mind is Sparks by Coldplay.  It’s a very simple song, but the music makes me think of you every time.  

9. What was the best meal you’ve ever eaten? Where was it and what made it the best?

I have had so many great meals that it’s hard to narrow down really.  I’ll always remember when we were initially dating and I took you to have charcuterie and cheese for the first time.  You seemed to love it so much (and still do) and I was grateful that I was the one that introduced you to it.

10. What is one goal you’d like to accomplish by the end of this year?

I’d really like to get a raise.

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An Interview With My Husband: June

Philip is my husband and we will have been married for one year on June 28th! I met this handsome fellow in a bar back in Alexandria, VA and knew right then, and after a few Snake Bites, that this  man was the one. Philip is someone I can be my complete and uncensored self with, someone I can laugh with until it hurts, someone who shares in my passions and desires, and someone who simply completes me. And you don’t find that kind of love just anywhere.

Today I want to share a little of my husband with you all in the form of an interview. Each month I send him five-ten questions that vary and wait eagerly for his response. I am almost always surprised by his honest answers, which makes this process so much fun!

Follow along with my husband and I as I interview him on various topics about life, impending parenthood, and just some random fun stuff. This is An Interview With My Husband!

1.I know you love food. What are your top 5 favorite foods, with the most favorite first?

This is probably the one question I will have to keep revisiting if I must narrow it down to five.  Honestly, it would be easier to tell you the foods I DON’T like. I guess I’ll start with the things I really miss when I can’t get them or go a long period without:

1. Hitching Post steak in Casmalia
2. Tri-Tip sandwich from Cold Springs Tavern
3. Really good caviar with all the accoutrements (cause I likes to be fancy sometimes)
4. Fried chicken from Willie Mae’s Scotch House in New Orleans
5. Jerk chicken from any roadside stand in Negril, Jamaica – I still dream of it

2. Where in the world would you love to visit next? What about that place appeals to you the most?

Again, another difficult question.  Traveling is one thing that first opened my eyes to how small my life is (but, not in a bad way).  It makes me appreciate the differences in all of us and makes me want to live as others do.  The only bittersweet moment I’ve had with the thoughts of our differences is that no matter how hard I try, I will never be a local in another country.  I wasn’t raised there.  I don’t understand their ways and that is something you cannot fake.

But back to the question (and this is tricky now as opposed to a number of years ago when I was single, didn’t have a puppy that I constantly worry about, and was much more reckless).  I’m leaning towards France, but that would be to LIVE, not just visit.  Have to go with Australia.  I’ve known since I was a kid that a kangaroo would definitely make an awesome friend.  No doubt.  I’ve always had a fascination and I hope that deep down I will feel like I did when I was a kid when I visit.  (That actually happened when I visited England and it was an amazing feeling – set my wanderlust in motion)

3. Do you have a bucket list? Why or why not? What would be on your bucket list if you did have one?

I do and I don’t.   There are things I definitely want to do, but those goals are always changing.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe I’m just not as interested in some things like I used to be – for example, I always wanted to party in Ibiza.  Now, not so much.  Or maybe, the more things I do and places I see, the less I’m easily enthused.  I hope that isn’t so.  I don’t ever want to get bored.  Here are a few things:

1. Have children (absolutely #1)
2. Break the sound barrier
3. Stay in an over-the-water bungalow in the South Pacific
4. Drive sports car that costs more than the house I grew up in
5. Own a Porsche
6. Speak French and Spanish fluently
7. Attend a Formula 1 race in person (specifically Monaco)
8. Dip my timepiece in every ocean (just 2 more to go!)

4. What makes you feel fulfilled?

Simple.  Being a husband to you and a father to our Murphy dog.  Feeling needed gives me purpose.   It changed how I saw myself and also made me vulnerable.  I’ve never liked feeling vulnerable and constantly thinking about the most important woman/puppy in my life makes me worry more than I ever did about myself, but it gives me focus and that makes me happy.

5. When was the last time you cried (or shed a tear)?

About a week ago when you showed me pictures of people spending their last moments/days with their pets that were going to be put down.  I held Murphy close and felt bad for getting mad at him earlier in the day for something dumb.  I cried harder than I had in a while.  Harder than I expected I would.  And that was just with regards to Murphy.  I worry about you every. single. day.  And I have no idea why – probably because the thought of not having you would traumatize me.  Funny thing is, before getting married to a wonderful woman and having an awesome puppy, I hardly ever cried.  Now it seems like my heart is outside of my body.  That’s something I was not prepared for.  Before, I was invincible.  Now, I’m sensitive to animals, children, and those born disabled more than ever – (basically those that can’t fend off the world by themselves).  I’m not ashamed.  I just wasn’t prepared for all the feels.

**For perspective: here’s the article I showed him via Buzzfeed. Bring tissues. Lots of them.

6. At what times do you need assurance of my love the most?

This usually happens when I’m feeling lost professionally.  Sometimes work gets me down or I don’t feel like I have a purpose despite having steady employment.  If I’m not feeling fulfilled outside of the home, I become sensitive.

7. Putting aside money or time, if you could have one thing what would it be?

Health.  Without that, money and time mean almost nothing.

8. Where do you think we will be in five years?

My vision consists of us with our little ones running around with Murphy on the beach.  At least one.  Probably two by that point.  My hair will hopefully still be black J and we’re very happy.  If we can make it work, I would love to stay in California.  Like I said, as long as I can afford it, I want to stay.  My career honestly isn’t something I focus on in our future.  I know it should be, but things have a way of working out.  I’m sure I’ll be employed doing something, but what I do is not who I am. 

9. What is your all-time favorite TV show to watch? What about that show makes it your favorite?

I would have to say Californication.  Although, that was really before we moved to California.  I had a love affair with this state and always hoped we make it out here and when I watched the show, I felt like I was back.  Also, when the show originally aired, I really related to the main character – self-loathing, drank too much, didn’t have direction.  It was a darker time for me, but I took solace in that.  Now, life is too good to be unhappy. Also, I’m a big fan of any travel show that Anthony Bourdain is on.  If he’s in it, I’m watching.

10. What is your favorite memory of us?

Another good question, because I have many and I don’t think I could narrow it down to one.  Our wedding day is the first memory that comes to mind, but our first trip together to New Orleans is a good one too because it kinda set “us” in motion.  There’s the time we went to the airport to pick up Murphy for the first time, and the first time we went to Turks and Caicos and I got to see you check off “white sand and clear water” from your bucket list (that was very fulfilling to me).

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…and he even had a few questions for me.

1. How have you changed since you met me? Since we’ve been married?

In more ways than I can count. But, if I had to choose the most important thing about myself that has changed, it’s my self-value. You’ve given me confidence in myself and in our relationship by how you treat me, how you show you love me, and the unconditional support you give me every single day. I’ve learned how to love myself because of the way you love me.

2. Gotta ask you the 5 favorite foods as well 🙂 but you’ve got to be SUPER specific (not just “sushi”).

Haha, oh don’t you know me so well. Hmm…well, piggy-backing off the first question I have to say that one way I’ve changed since being married married  to you is the exposure to a variety of cuisines and flavors over the years. So, picking my five aren’t too difficult.

Some of the best sushi from Sushi Taro back in DC & Nobu
Pretty much everything from our Gastronaut tasting menu at The Inn at Little Washington
The sangria and tapas from Estadio in DC
Our favorite Thai place here in Ventura, Rice By Mama
My enchiladas from Casa Rio every time we visit The Riverwalk back in Texas

3. What do you see in our future in the short and long term? Children, living location, etc.

Our future has many things and children are definitely in the picture. I imagine two; a boy and a girl. We are living along the coast much like we are now. I love our life as it is and I can’t wait to see how it will unfold for us. I also see traveling. Venturing all over the world. I love that we set a travel jar and was able to begin scratching places off our list.

4. What is your favorite memory of us?

Hmm…that’s a hard one. It’s true that I have many favorites and to narrow it down to just one almost diminishes the many other memories I have of us. But, if I had to choose just one it would have to be learning two-step with you when we were back in Texas for the first time. There’s nothing that can adequately describe the feeling of giddy-ness and to put it simply: the fun I have with you when we’re dancing together. We don’t do it often, but when we’re dancing everything else melts away and for that moment it’s just the two of us, in sync, and enjoying the moment together.

5. What has been the most surprising feeling/event you’ve experienced since we’ve been together?

The excitement of moving. We did a lot of it, especially when we lived in DC/VA and although it’s quite the process to do, it’s invigorating at the same time. I’m someone who grew up and stayed in the same place her entire life; always being within a 20-30 minute drive from family. I had always wanted to travel and knew that a world was out there waiting to be explored, however, it was being with you and your nature of not being able to sit still long enough that has truly made this life exciting and filled with adventure and memories. I love where we are now, but I look forward to the opportunities we can travel or live in different places and experience new things together. So, I would say our life of constant motion is the most welcoming surprise I’ve experienced since we’ve been together.

I loved interviewing my husband and can’t wait to see what’s in store in July!

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