What I’ve Learned Through Miscarriage

As many of you know October is an awareness month for a lot of different causes. We are all very familiar with this month largely being dedicated to Breast Cancer Awareness, but there are many other health awarenesses that fit into these little 31 days of October. *Such as: Down Syndrome Awareness, SIDS Awareness, Domestic Violence Awareness, Spina Bifida Awareness, and Physical Therapy month…just to name a few. One topic that tends to slip through the cracks, which is one that most women can relate to, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness.

* via HealthLine

via

October 15th is the official remembrance day for pregnancy and infant loss and it’s fascinating to find that this day comes and goes without much mention or thought; especially compared to the amount of press and advertising that goes towards benefitting breast cancer research. Although breast cancer affects a large percentage of women, I was shocked to see just how many women are affected by miscarriage or other types of pregnancy/infant loss in their lifetime. According to Baby Center (my trustworthy resource for all things pregnancy), 10%-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage and 80% of which occur before 12 weeks.

I am a part of this statistic. 

In March of this year my husband and I were excited to find out that we were pregnant for the very first time. It was completely unexpected and although we weren’t preventing it, we weren’t necessarily trying to conceive either. I had gone on a surprise visit to VA to spend the weekend with friends and it happened to be right around the time my period was expected (who doesn’t like traveling with Aunt Flo?). That weekend came and went and no sign whatsoever of my period. A few days after I returned home, I decided to take a pregnancy test because it had almost been a week that I was late and I was never late. My husband had gone off to work that morning and I awoke a few hours later to get ready for work myself. I decided to take a home test then jump in the shower. Once I slid the door open I stood there staring and trying to process the PREGNANT 4-5 text on the screen of my digital test. I immediately began to cry and praise God for this blessing and new adventure my husband and I were about to embark on.

However, that joy quickly turned to sadness and heartbreak within the week.

At our official 5 week mark I had noticed spotting that turned to a heavy flow along with severe cramping. I remember I kept trying to tell myself that it was only implantation bleeding and that I couldn’t be possibly losing the pregnancy. Although I held on as tight as I could to that thought, I finally accepted the inevitable: I was miscarrying. I quickly made an appointment with our doctor the next morning for an exam and blood work, which confirmed our worst fear. Luckily we didn’t share the news with too many friends and opted to wait and tell our families until we were ready to openly talk about it.

Although that experience was one of the most difficult I’ve personally had to go through to-date, surprisingly my husband and I were able to come out of it not only having a stronger marriage, but a more solid understanding that we were both ready for parenthood. My husband was my rock and although he was hurting right along with me, he stood strong for the both of us. He was there for me through it all and for him I’ll be forever grateful. Miscarriage gave us a bigger purpose and I knew that one day we would be blessed with a baby. It may not have been right away or even when I wanted, but God always provides.

Today I sit here writing my story at 20 weeks pregnant. Officially the halfway mark until we get to finally meet our healthy little boy. The irony of it all, and a notion I keep close in my heart, is that our baby is due in March of next year. An anniversary of sorts and reminder that God is indeed good and will always present Himself in our times of trial and challenge. It was through this particular trial I had learned a deeper meaning of God’s presence in my life and how He has revealed His plan for my family and I.

A photo posted by Kelly Daniel (@kjdaniel1) on

 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us”
-Romans 8:18

I share my story (and you can read my original post about miscarriage here) in hopes that it not only brings awareness, but it provides hope and sense of community for all of us who are unfortunately bound together through this unpleasant experience of miscarriage. However, I can say that I was able to find strength in my own circumstance through others who bravely shared their own personal stories of loss and to those women I thank you.

Linking up with…

Simple Moments Stick

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November Currently

Happy hump day everyone! Today I’m stopping by the blog to share and link up with some pretty fabulous women for October Currently. I still can’t believe October is finally here and although I do a little countdown for Halloween and even more-so for Christmas, each passing month is especially exciting because it’s one month closer we get to meeting our little guy. However, I love this season and here’s what I’ve been up to so far this month…

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Eating //
Can I fit everything into this category? I’m so grateful to have an appetite and I’m crossing fingers and toes that it keeps up the rest of my pregnancy. I’m not so much having cravings, but I do love me some bagels and cream cheese at the moment. I could seriously eat them all day. Another fun snack lately has been candy corns. I know, it’s like all sugar, but they’re fun, festive, and just the sugar fix I need.

Exploring //
At the moment I’m not so much physically exploring anything, however, I consider the exploration into parenthood and what to expect during pregnancy to be very similar in concept. This idea of venturing into the uncharted waters of pregnancy for my husband and I has been an exciting journey and one I’m only slightly nervous about (you know, birth and all). So, anyone out there with some helpful blogs or posts I could peruse please send them my way! Many thanks in advance 🙂

Wearing //
I have to say I’m pretty bored and tired of my summer clothes. I wear them 90% of the year and I’m ready to begin bundling up in some sweaters and scarves. I know I have some time before that happens, but a girl can dream. So, as it is I’m still enjoying my summer dresses and pretty much anything pre-pregnancy that still fits. I’m slowly adding maternity styles into my wardrobe and so far I’m loving my black maternity leggings and pretty much everything from Pink Blush.

Admiring //
I’m still in awe of my growing baby boy. I’ve been staring and admiring our sonogram photo ever since we got a peek at our baby on Monday and I don’t think I’ll be stopping anytime soon. This is the first sonogram where he looks like an actual baby considering the bean he looked like back at week 8. It’s such a powerful feeling of being a woman and having this opportunity to have a hand in creating life. I’m in such awe of God’s design.

Collecting //
This month is all about collecting memories and cherishing the final moments we have just the three of us (including our Murphy). I have no idea the changes our baby will bring to our little family, but the anticipation is bringing us so much joy. I’ve heard that one of the challenges couples face when a new baby comes home is finding time for each other and being cognizant of this time we have is very important.

Linking up with:
Gold & Bloom
Anne In Residence

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Celebrating Fall With Your Spouse

As I’ve made it a habit of mentioning, fall is both my husband and I’s favorite season (unless we’re speaking about favorite holidays, then Christmas always wins. Always). Although California is amazing in many respects, there’s one downfall and that’s we don’t experience the same fall-like weather patterns as the rest of the country, specifically the east coast. So, no changing colors of leaves, actually no leaves at all (we have palm trees), no sweater weather or scarves (at least until our winter), and one has to be content with a pumpkin spice frap unless you order the latte in the morning when temperatures are chilly enough to warrant a warm drink.

However, with that being said, it’s important for my husband and I to get in the holiday spirit and begin celebrating Halloween the proper way…even if the weather doesn’t want to play along. It just means we have to get more creative. So how does one celebrate this season at the beach? Here are a few of the date night ideas I came up for our family this year! Hope you can find a few ideas to share with your spouse this Halloween season!

Celebrate fall with your spouse this season with these easy to prepare ideas!

Pumpkin Clipart via KPM Doodles

31 Days of Halloween

Movie Marathon //
A few months ago we began thinking about 31 horror or Halloween films we would like to watch as apart of our movie list for this year and our goal would be to watch one for each night of the month. Now, with my husband’s forever changing work schedule some nights we had to manage a double-feature making up for the nights he wouldn’t be home to watch with me. How do you make it fun? Well, forever the teacher, I came up with a card-drawing concept that would pick a different movie for us. So, I printed off pumpkins that are numbered 1-31 (because I love any excuse to use my seasonal clipart) and it corresponded to a particular movie. Each night we would draw a card, or rather Murphy has been drawing for us, and we would watch the movie chosen. This year we came up with a pretty good list!

What horror movies are a must-see on your list?

Date Nights //
The second half of our 31 Days of Halloween is the fun activities I’ve selected (aka get to drag my husband to or force him to participate in), which is a mixture of things to do at home as well as get out in our community and explore. Last year we moved around this time so we didn’t really do anything except for watch a few scary movies. However, this year I was determined to organize a fun holiday and try to experience as much as we could considering our new home.

Thanks to many hours on Pinterest and scouring the internet for Halloween activities to do in central California! Through that hard work I was able to come up with a few fun ideas we could do together. Some of these ideas include: a lot of baking and decorating, selecting fall scented candles together, eating Count Chocula for breakfast (how awesome is that?!), decorate a haunted gingerbread house (the hubs LOVED doing the gingerbread house at Christmas time), and even completing a puzzle together. Now, he’s not so excited about that one but he’ll get good at pretending he does. I’m pretty excited to find a pumpkin patch and orchard so we can pick our own apples. The only issue is that apples aren’t so much in season anymore around here so I may have to be okay with berry picking instead. Compromises, people.

At the end of the day, and even if we don’t get to every little thing planned, it’s always a fun time to spend with my husband. I love this man so much mainly because he entertains my ideas, but also because he actually seems to enjoy them too. These are little ways in which we can spend quality time with each other and it takes little effort (and money!) to put it all together. By the end of the month we’ve created new memories and have lots of photos to Instagram and look fondly back on. Besides, this is the last Halloween of just us so I also consider this homework 😉

What traditions or family/date nights do you plan surrounding fall or Halloween? I’d love to find new ideas!
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